I have been a single mom, on and off for about 17 years. Today, in 2018, I am kinda new to it again, but what I am not new to is all the amazing stereotypes that #singlemotherhood seems to attract. The moment I began to hashtag my Instagram with #singlemom I suddenly grew a new and surprising following of 20-30 something, seemingly handsome, young men. Little did I know that #singlemom was CODE for: a Hot, easy and desperate woman, who needs sex but is obviously single and PROBABLY underappreciated and desperate for attention. I DID educate myself and find that many of the #singlemom posts were single moms posing seductively with ample ass and cleavage action… so there is certainly some truth to this…although in my naiveté, I didn’t initially know this, so had inadvertently made some family friendly posts and #hashtagged them as such, oops…hahaha.
.I am pleasantly surprised to know that the Single Mom stigma over the years has changed from “Gold-digging dirty whore, who lives on welfare and has illiterate and dirty children” so this is *kindof* an improvement? lol, maybe?
In any case, I am a single mom, therefore an expert on my species so Listen UP!
THERE is no such thing “true” stereotype for single moms, but for ME….
#1: I LOVE my children, they’re my NUMBER ONE, I live and breathe for them, because I am the ONLY PERSON on the planet who gets to be their MOM! They ONLY GOT ONE, and I am IT… so I better not screw this up, at least any more than I already have! DO you get me? Being their Mommy is a HUGE privilege and a HUGE responsibility! I pray to God every Day… “Please God, help me be a good mother, help me not screw this up.” Look crossways at my kid, or threaten their peace in ANY WAY… be ready for me to turn the #bitch up, REALLY FAST.
#2: There is NOTHING easy about being a single mom. I BARELY have time to write this, and ONLY if I decide to NOT pass out at 9pm, from exhaustion: due to working a 9 hour day without breaks so I can offset leaving work early to pick up my twins early from daycare twice a week! There is DEFINITELY nothing easy about dating a single mom! Firstly, I barely have time to even THINK between the daily routine of morning wake ups, work, drop offs, appointments, pick ups, dinner, bedtime, etc…so the thought of setting aside even a few hours for a “date”, is just daunting to even consider.
#3: I am not desperate. (SUUURE, you say…) BUT seriously, I ended a shitty situation with a man I no longer knew, in a loveless and life-sucking marriage…I am self-assured enough to DO IT ALONE. Raise my kids, pay my bills, work my life-alone. If I was DESPERATE, and all I cared about was some Sex, I could have stayed in that pitiful marriage, that would have been the EASY way! Although I sure gosh-darn miss physical affection and yes, desperately MISS sex, I am not “desperate” and There is NO WAY I would blow the delicate balance of my kids SOLID foundation & the peace and security of our home just to get laid or to even go on a date!
#4: My kids appreciate the heck out of me. Sometimes they show it, usually not, tho. BUT I so so so SO much appreciate myself. I am ME. Not some watered down version of myself, whom I had become under the umbrella of a toxic relationship. I am Strong as Hell, Fiesty as all heck & a freaking talented & fairly character-filled Mama.
#5: As for attention, I am GOOD, I get plenty of that! Between all my kids calling my name every 5 seconds, Managing a busy Optometry office & all the natural attention one receives when they begin to live their truth… I am alll attentioned up!
Now that I have somewhat defunked the #singlemom myth, that there even IS a #singlemom sterotype…
Let me just say: Thanks, Fella’s… I appreciate the the “love” & the cute 5th grader-ish attention of your cute little Instagram messages, but ya’ll just take a step back because I am a hawt mess, divorcee’ I am busy, got no time for ya’ cannot fit you into my life and honestly, I screwed up with the last one, so there’s no WAY I am ready for another shot.. so just sit back in yer britches and COOL IT. If you’ve read all the above and you still itching for a date with a single mom, YOU ARE CRAZY and I don’t let crazy people ANYWHERE NEAR my family! lol. Call me when my youngest is in Middle School.