#singlemom does not mean #easy&desperate

I have been a single mom, on and off for about 17 years. Today, in 2018, I am kinda new to it again, but what I am not new to is all the amazing stereotypes that #singlemotherhood seems to attract. The moment I began to hashtag my Instagram with #singlemom I suddenly grew a new and surprising following of 20-30 something, seemingly handsome, young men. Little did I know that #singlemom was CODE for: a Hot, easy and desperate woman, who needs sex but is obviously single and PROBABLY underappreciated and desperate for attention. I DID educate myself and find that many of the #singlemom posts were single moms posing seductively with ample ass and cleavage action… so there is certainly some truth to this…although in my naiveté, I didn’t initially know this, so had inadvertently made some family friendly posts and #hashtagged them as such, oops…hahaha.

.I am pleasantly surprised to know that the Single Mom stigma over the years has changed from “Gold-digging dirty whore, who lives on welfare and has illiterate and dirty children” so this is *kindof* an improvement? lol, maybe?

In any case, I am a single mom, therefore an expert on my species so Listen UP!

THERE is no such thing “true” stereotype for single moms, but for ME….

#1: I LOVE my children, they’re my NUMBER ONE, I live and breathe for them, because I am the ONLY PERSON on the planet who gets to be their MOM! They ONLY GOT ONE, and I am IT… so I better not screw this up, at least any more than I already have! DO you get me? Being their Mommy is a HUGE privilege and a HUGE responsibility! I pray to God every Day… “Please God, help me be a good mother, help me not screw this up.” Look crossways at my kid, or threaten their peace in ANY WAY… be ready for me to turn the #bitch up, REALLY FAST.

#2: There is NOTHING easy about being a single mom. I BARELY have time to write this, and ONLY if I decide to NOT pass out at 9pm, from exhaustion: due to working a 9 hour day without breaks so I can offset leaving work early to pick up my twins early from daycare twice a week! There is DEFINITELY nothing easy about dating a single mom! Firstly, I barely have time to even THINK between the daily routine of morning wake ups, work, drop offs, appointments, pick ups, dinner, bedtime, etc…so the thought of setting aside even a few hours for a “date”, is just daunting to even consider.

#3: I am not desperate. (SUUURE, you say…) BUT seriously, I ended a shitty situation with a man I no longer knew, in a loveless and life-sucking marriage…I am self-assured enough to DO IT ALONE. Raise my kids, pay my bills, work my life-alone. If I was DESPERATE, and all I cared about was some Sex, I could have stayed in that pitiful marriage, that would have been the EASY way! Although I sure gosh-darn miss physical affection and yes, desperately MISS sex, I am not “desperate” and There is NO WAY I would blow the delicate balance of my kids SOLID foundation & the peace and security of our home just to get laid or to even go on a date!

#4: My kids appreciate the heck out of me. Sometimes they show it, usually not, tho. BUT I so so so SO much appreciate myself. I am ME. Not some watered down version of myself, whom I had become under the umbrella of a toxic relationship. I am Strong as Hell, Fiesty as all heck & a freaking talented & fairly character-filled Mama.

#5: As for attention, I am GOOD, I get plenty of that! Between all my kids calling my name every 5 seconds, Managing a busy Optometry office & all the natural attention one receives when they begin to live their truth… I am alll attentioned up!


Now that I have somewhat defunked the #singlemom myth, that there even IS a #singlemom sterotype…

Let me just say: Thanks, Fella’s… I appreciate the the “love” & the cute 5th grader-ish attention of your cute little Instagram messages, but ya’ll just take a step back because I am a hawt mess, divorcee’ I am busy, got no time for ya’ cannot fit you into my life and honestly, I screwed up with the last one, so there’s no WAY I am ready for another shot.. so just sit back in yer britches and COOL IT. If you’ve read all the above and you still itching for a date with a single mom, YOU ARE CRAZY and I don’t let crazy people ANYWHERE NEAR my family! lol. Call me when my youngest is in Middle School.

xoxo, B





2 thoughts on “#singlemom does not mean #easy&desperate

  1. LOVE it sis!!! You are so strong in you hot coolness!

    I had no idea! Yea, I got to flirt with a guy the other day a bit, but I’m like no no no no not going there. HAHAHA isn’t it funny???

    Love you so glad we get to do this – there you are, still being a big sister for me! Seriously, I can write you a ‘my big sis’ page one day! Funny


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    1. lol, When you become a single Mama, you are NOT ready for a relationship, not until you and your kids are 100% solid grounded, financially stable & you have your $hit in order, emotionally, physically, spiritually… and it takes TIME.alone time. mommy time. pondering and praying time. this cannot be rushed. Savor this time… it might be one of your MOST treasured times as a Mama! xoxo, B

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