One key aspect of single parenting, and really…for anyone, is the need for friends, family & support people. For the kids, obviously, but also for you. I have always struggled with friendships, lacking a solid model for what being a friend looks like, I have kind-of totally sucked at being a friend, for pretty much my entire life! Like many generational curses, it has taken me a LONG time to slowly slowly do something about this! Now that I am aware how important friendship is, I am willing to invest a lot of energy into this…I even recently signed up at our church to lead a small group, in my home, for single parents.. because when I went to sign up for a group there weren’t any I could attend with my kids and my schedule (AKA: all groups were for retired women or SAHM’s…not me, and I am sure other parents can relate to this dilemma!)
It’s hilarious I am even writing about making or keeping friends since I struggle to do BOTH. My excuse used to be “I work full-time and I have kids”..If you’re one of those gals that has always and friends, and still have friends from elementary-middle and high school, that is SO awesome, and I am SUPER jealous! How do you do it, I wonder? I think I may not get a lot of gals that understand me here, because from where I stand I kinda feel like the odd gall out, but for certain I cannot be the ONLY gal that never learned how to make and keep friends? Enough excuses, there is time for what is important and FRIENDS are very important!
You have got to keep finding common interests, making time together and keeping the connection via phone calls & meet ups? Am I right? By being there for each other in the highs and lows of life, by loving eachother despite ourselves? I am just guessing here since I am not an expert, yet, but I PLAN TO BE!
If you suck at having friends, like me, how can you build community?:
-Church, go on Sundays, join a group (kid friendly, ideally)
-Join a MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group
-TRY to set up some play-dates with your kids friends Moms (this one isn’t always easy to arrange but DO IT.
-Stay in touch with your biological family (any of the loving and supportive ones)
-Go to your kid’s school functions, my 7 year olds school is simply THE best, it has a monthly family night, with different activities, it’s GREAT… (one reason I am glad school is back in session)
-Stay in touch with people who you love but aren’t geographically near to via text, messenger or try this cool chat app called Marco Polo, where you create little video chats and send them to eachother and you can watch whenever you have time… very convenient!
-MAKE time in your schedule for DATES with girlfriends! Put it on the calendar and don’t be the one to blow it… show up. This is where the true friendship is gonna happen
-Got to the local parks, I ALWAYS see momma’s I know there!
BASICALLY, you gotta BE a good friend to Have good friends… All you Momma’s that feel like you have #nailedthis one, and you have this in check, comment below so we can hear all your great tips, cuz Girls, I NEED YOUR HELP!!! We need to love and support from our friends and family, and they need ours! TIPS and advice welcomed!