I have SO MANY reasons to not date.
I am Exhausted as it is, being Mama to my kids, for one… I have a long history of relationship failure for another… but the real reason I will not date for over 2 years? I am making a commitment to myself. To focus on my SELF.. to love my SELF, to care for my SELF.
You see, when you date, or are in a romance, you focus on “other”.. You think about the other person, a lot. You DO things for them, you expend energy on their behalf, you give them your most precious thing: your TIME. You see, I let myself (like so many others) be codependent with the men in my life. I sacrificed my home, myself, my thoughts, my convictions, and most recently my MORALS… until I was barely even there anymore..
And GUESS WHAT? I have spent the past 15+ years GIVING of myself until I am DRAINED…. I am empty. I am a SHELL of the woman I “would be” had I used all that energy I wasted on undeserving men, on MY SELF! ON MY KIDS!!!
So guess what. THIS is MY TIME. I am doing what I WANT!
I am gonna buy the healthy stuff at the grocery store that I LIKE, I am gonna rock climb & hike and watch my body get super strong and capable FOR ME.
I am gonna decorate my house as bohemian and girly as I WANT!
I am gonna wear high heels, and makeup without fear of some guy being “shorter” than me, or complaining about my “face paint”…
I am gonna listen to Reggae and Country music that I LIKE , I am gonna go on vacations that I CHOOSE.
I will parent the way I know is right, and I will do it with the support of people who LIFT ME UP as a mother, rather than TEAR me down.
FUCK. I need a break, so I can remember the strong woman I am, so I can BE ME and when the time comes, if some guy and I become friends… I won’t be willing to “give up” who I am, or what I like for HIM or ANYONE! And if this dude has the BALLS to love a woman who KNOWS who she is, well… then maybe I’ll give him a chance 😉
Did YOU take time off from dating? How did it work for you? I’d love to connect with you if you have “gone before”!!!
And in the meantime, stay tuned for my Single Mama adventures… cause I am gonna have a freaking BLAST out here!