I say this, a lot, to myself usually… since I am mostly alone and nobody really cares.
I have a lot to say, to talk about… but to write? No… not really.
Unless all you want to hear is my daily disappointments… daily exhaustion from being a Mama, working full time, running our home, etc etc etc.
It’s boring… boring to write about. Boring to live… and likely boring to listen to… seeing as there is NOBODY in my life that gives a flying fuck about how I am doing… I assume this to be true.
Do you ever feel like that? Like nobody gives a goddamn fuck about you? Like all you need is to be held in a hug while you sob on someones shoulder… just because it is ALLTOOMUCH and there is LITERALLY nobody whom loves you like that on the entire fucking planet?
(Christian friends, please shut the f up, right now… I know ya’ll are already mentally working up your “cool christian evangelist-trying to play it cool-and reply with some BS about how “God loves you like that”… BS. I dont wanna hear it. I need a REAL FUCKING HUG, a REAL GDAMN SOB SESSION & no “holy-spirit-ghost” is gonna do that…!)
It is the Holidays.
HERE I AM. ALONE. With my kids.
I am Tired.
Tired of working hard.
Tired of giving.
Tired of doing it all.
I will wake up tomorrow, take a hike in the woods… probably cry and yell at God while I am at it… then I will work hard… then I will GIVE… and probably do more than any person should.
Because I am a Mom … and that’s what we do….
And if you see me… Give me a big fucking hug… and forgive me if I sob…
I am just so fucking exhausted…